Throughout our HD 4 class, I have had the tendency to think that each new item covered was the most pervasive influence on a child, for both good and bad. Peers, the media, school, the community all hold powerful influences on how a child will become an adult. When I read through this discussion topic earlier in the week, I decided I really better ponder it a bit, since each choice I might make could have strong arguments.
I concluded that parents still are the most influential item on children today. First, the child is exposed primarily to parents in early infancy, toddlerhood and prior to moving out into the world at either the preschool stage or in kindergarten. Strong bonding to the parent, or a lack thereof, has been proven to affect a whole host of other behaviors including whether a child does well in school and is even cited as a predictor of later criminal activity.
Although peers become very important influences in later childhood, while the child is still very young and mostly non-mobile, it is the parents that select what peer interaction a child may or may not have. Parents who choose wisely can enhance that experience, while negligent parents may allow their child to begin forming dangerous attachments to peer groups early on. Once again, parents are setting the tone that will affect what kind of adult a child becomes.
Media is a dominant force in almost any child's life. Even those children raised without TV are exposed to billboards and bus bench ads while riding in the car! Parents can do a lot of good in delaying and/or limiting exposure to TV and exercise control over when and whether a child has access to the Internet. More importantly though, parents who start with an open channel of communication can discuss the media images that their children meet along the way and instill values in their children as well as give them critical thinking skills.
Most children in the US attend school, which opens up a new world of influence and also serves as a conduit linking the child to the greater culture. School can be a very negative experience for many children. The examples in Kotlowitz's book show many of these negative consequences as well as a few positive ones. Parents do well to monitor their child's schooling through parent conferences and unplanned visits to the classroom. Parents also have more options than ever before to select a school that best suits their own child's learning needs.
Before it seems that I am painting too ideal a picture, I want to add that I am aware that there are many very ineffectual and negligent parents out there. However, they have been as influential in the lives of their children as the 'good' parents. I spent several years doing legal pleadings for my county's Child Protective Services department, making me well aware of the emotional and physical toll the worst parents had inflicted on their children. Those children needed lots of counseling services, yet still had worse odds for ultimate success in adult life. I also taught within the county jail, and observed that many of the young criminals came from a family life where parents hadn't valued them finishing their education and hadn't instilled in them a sense of right from wrong or a strong work ethic. Once again, what the parents had passed along determined much of what course the child took as they became an adult.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Thursday, November 13, 2008
What's Wrong With TV
I am not a fan of TV. I don't like being marketed to through commercials, and don't like much of the so-called 'popular' shows, especially reality TV shows, which are actually soundbites with the 'real' action taking place when the camera is off.
I just learned the other day that the American Academy of Pediatrics is recommending that children under the age of 2 not be exposed to TV. They say that lots of TV will keep the toddler from proper social-emotional development. The TV is two-dimensional, while what the child at that age really needs is interactive play with real objects, in order to fill in the information blanks in the brain. TV also has a highly addictive quality, as do video games, and to a lesser extent, surfing the Internet. The challenge can be breaking away to deal with your own problems, take care of your own life, rather than stay in a fantasy world where other peoples' lives seem better, more exciting, more fun.
It is true that there are many high-quality television programs out there... personally, I like the travel and nature shows that capture things up close that I will probably never have the opportunity to see myself, such as polar bears who would eat me if I got as close as a telephoto lens can bring them to me. I believe that a parent really needs to watch with their child rather than using TV as a babysitter, and needs to think ahead (or even preview in advance) about how the child at that particular age will view the images and understand what they see. It is much easier to do this with the infant, toddler and preschooler. As the child enters the world of elementary school, the choices widen, though the child may still lack true understanding of the adult content of so-called childrens' movies such as Shrek (many jokes are really only something an adult can understand). Children are beginning to move away from the parent's sphere of influence at this stage, and may spend time at friends' houses where standards are far different about media influences. Parents have to question more and think harder about the limitations they place.
One important way to make sure you know what your child is watching is to have them watch TV or use the Internet in communal rooms, rather than isolated in their own bedrooms. This may seem a nuisance, or turn into a point of contention, but a teen spending long hours locked in their bedroom on the computer is probably not adequately developing social skills needed to move into the adult world. Parents need to exercise scrutiny over music and video games, and articulate to their child why they object to something, such as violence portrayed in video games or sexist or expliotative attitudes in lyrics of songs. Parenting doesn't get easier unless you work hard from the very beginning!
I just learned the other day that the American Academy of Pediatrics is recommending that children under the age of 2 not be exposed to TV. They say that lots of TV will keep the toddler from proper social-emotional development. The TV is two-dimensional, while what the child at that age really needs is interactive play with real objects, in order to fill in the information blanks in the brain. TV also has a highly addictive quality, as do video games, and to a lesser extent, surfing the Internet. The challenge can be breaking away to deal with your own problems, take care of your own life, rather than stay in a fantasy world where other peoples' lives seem better, more exciting, more fun.
It is true that there are many high-quality television programs out there... personally, I like the travel and nature shows that capture things up close that I will probably never have the opportunity to see myself, such as polar bears who would eat me if I got as close as a telephoto lens can bring them to me. I believe that a parent really needs to watch with their child rather than using TV as a babysitter, and needs to think ahead (or even preview in advance) about how the child at that particular age will view the images and understand what they see. It is much easier to do this with the infant, toddler and preschooler. As the child enters the world of elementary school, the choices widen, though the child may still lack true understanding of the adult content of so-called childrens' movies such as Shrek (many jokes are really only something an adult can understand). Children are beginning to move away from the parent's sphere of influence at this stage, and may spend time at friends' houses where standards are far different about media influences. Parents have to question more and think harder about the limitations they place.
One important way to make sure you know what your child is watching is to have them watch TV or use the Internet in communal rooms, rather than isolated in their own bedrooms. This may seem a nuisance, or turn into a point of contention, but a teen spending long hours locked in their bedroom on the computer is probably not adequately developing social skills needed to move into the adult world. Parents need to exercise scrutiny over music and video games, and articulate to their child why they object to something, such as violence portrayed in video games or sexist or expliotative attitudes in lyrics of songs. Parenting doesn't get easier unless you work hard from the very beginning!
Friday, October 24, 2008
School Daze
I used to be annoyed when I saw this misspelling; now, I have come to realize that much of my school memories are something of a daze to me. A lot of the memories are positive, as I was a 'good' student and a low-key person who sought to be mostly invisible and to not draw any negative attention to myself. I think these qualities eased me through most of my early school experiences, with no teacher in elementary truly falling into the 'worst' category.
My school experience covers the usual elementary, junior high and high school years, as well as a two-year stint of college immediately after high school, a full year in a community college nursing program at age 21, a return to school in my mid-thirties to complete a paralegal program and many more undergrad requirements, then a BA completion program that led into a Masters in Humanities program about 10 years ago, and most recently a string of early childhood education classes that have helped me complete my Program Director permit application. That covers a breadth of teaching styles, events, materials learned, and memories. Those memories are often colored by what else was going on in my life at the time I took the class.
I could easily single out one or two excellent grade school teachers, and wrote about one last week on the discussion board. In what most people would call their junior high years, I was sent to a Catholic school, where I was in the 'upper grades', not 'junior high', after having spent seven years in public schools. I had one excellent teacher there, who was fun, passionate about subjects like science and history, and vastly entertaining, and a few nondescript ones. The same held true in high school. I honestly cannot remember much at all about the teachers I had in my first two years of college, and the nursing school instructors were pretty tyrannical, as fitted the style of instruction in that field back in the 1970s.
When I returned to school later, I had an excellent instructor for Economic Geography, who I have chosen to focus on for this essay. She was very well versed in her field, and also insisted that one of her missions had to be to improve the dismal state of geographic literacy in this country. College often does not allow for much in the way of field trips or experiential learning, so I think that one of the reasons that I still look back on her as an excellent educator was the passion she had for her subject. I was taking this course to fulfill a general education requirement, but had picked it because I am particularly interested in history and political science, and she tied the subject matter to both. The concepts were intellectually challenging and even reviewing the changing map of the world in order to pass weekly geography quizzes was interesting. I was taking this course remotely, by television, and still found her receptive to communicating when needed, and supportive of me as a student who was also a parent of young children... my oldest son spent 10 days in the hospital (and me, as a single mom, along with him), and she was accomodating and supportive of ways for me to continue to successfully complete the course. When I look back over this example, I have to add that my choosing her as one of my 'best' teachers has a lot to do with the 'good fit' between me as a student and her abilities to work with her students as a teacher, and even reflects upon where I was in my lifespan when I met her.
My 'worst' teacher was probably one of my high school gym teachers; she was an athlete and a dancer and had little tolerance for those students mandatorily assigned with little interest in either. My first year having her was one of the high school years when we had units on a wide variety of sports, and I drug myself dutifully through the course, knowing I would pass simply on attending and dressing every day, but that I would never shine in this area. The time was drudgery for me. My last year in high school, I had the same instructor for a modern dance class, and she rose from 'worst' in my opinion to merely mediocre, mainly because I liked the subject and therefore did better (I have always been an 'individual' athlete rather than a team one). She was not particularly creative (a fact I realized by taking other dance classes as an adult) and a very remote person, while other high school teachers were warmer, more engaging, and more approachable. Again, a lot had to do with personality and interest, two more criteria for 'goodness of fit'.
When I look back on my long school career, I can say that neither content or activities provide the strongest memories. Much more, I recall those teachers who were passionate about life and what they thought, who inspired and encouraged rather than berated, and who were warm human beings rather than projecting themselves as neutral or authoritarian figures.
My school experience covers the usual elementary, junior high and high school years, as well as a two-year stint of college immediately after high school, a full year in a community college nursing program at age 21, a return to school in my mid-thirties to complete a paralegal program and many more undergrad requirements, then a BA completion program that led into a Masters in Humanities program about 10 years ago, and most recently a string of early childhood education classes that have helped me complete my Program Director permit application. That covers a breadth of teaching styles, events, materials learned, and memories. Those memories are often colored by what else was going on in my life at the time I took the class.
I could easily single out one or two excellent grade school teachers, and wrote about one last week on the discussion board. In what most people would call their junior high years, I was sent to a Catholic school, where I was in the 'upper grades', not 'junior high', after having spent seven years in public schools. I had one excellent teacher there, who was fun, passionate about subjects like science and history, and vastly entertaining, and a few nondescript ones. The same held true in high school. I honestly cannot remember much at all about the teachers I had in my first two years of college, and the nursing school instructors were pretty tyrannical, as fitted the style of instruction in that field back in the 1970s.
When I returned to school later, I had an excellent instructor for Economic Geography, who I have chosen to focus on for this essay. She was very well versed in her field, and also insisted that one of her missions had to be to improve the dismal state of geographic literacy in this country. College often does not allow for much in the way of field trips or experiential learning, so I think that one of the reasons that I still look back on her as an excellent educator was the passion she had for her subject. I was taking this course to fulfill a general education requirement, but had picked it because I am particularly interested in history and political science, and she tied the subject matter to both. The concepts were intellectually challenging and even reviewing the changing map of the world in order to pass weekly geography quizzes was interesting. I was taking this course remotely, by television, and still found her receptive to communicating when needed, and supportive of me as a student who was also a parent of young children... my oldest son spent 10 days in the hospital (and me, as a single mom, along with him), and she was accomodating and supportive of ways for me to continue to successfully complete the course. When I look back over this example, I have to add that my choosing her as one of my 'best' teachers has a lot to do with the 'good fit' between me as a student and her abilities to work with her students as a teacher, and even reflects upon where I was in my lifespan when I met her.
My 'worst' teacher was probably one of my high school gym teachers; she was an athlete and a dancer and had little tolerance for those students mandatorily assigned with little interest in either. My first year having her was one of the high school years when we had units on a wide variety of sports, and I drug myself dutifully through the course, knowing I would pass simply on attending and dressing every day, but that I would never shine in this area. The time was drudgery for me. My last year in high school, I had the same instructor for a modern dance class, and she rose from 'worst' in my opinion to merely mediocre, mainly because I liked the subject and therefore did better (I have always been an 'individual' athlete rather than a team one). She was not particularly creative (a fact I realized by taking other dance classes as an adult) and a very remote person, while other high school teachers were warmer, more engaging, and more approachable. Again, a lot had to do with personality and interest, two more criteria for 'goodness of fit'.
When I look back on my long school career, I can say that neither content or activities provide the strongest memories. Much more, I recall those teachers who were passionate about life and what they thought, who inspired and encouraged rather than berated, and who were warm human beings rather than projecting themselves as neutral or authoritarian figures.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Being Under Five
What are your feelings about preschool?
I personally prefer a child-directed preschool environment, and find the Reggio-Emilia method very appealing. I have had some experience with High/Scope, which is used in Headstart, and appreciated how much the environment can direct the child's learning, while the child is busy doing what she or he wants to do.
Did you go to preschool as a child?
No, I did not. There were far less opportunities back in the dark ages of the 1950s! My socialization and school readiness came from being in a big family (three siblings), growing up in a neighborhood of young families, which meant I had a lot of childhood playmates nearby, and having a creative mother who played piano for us and gave us lots of play time.
Have you worked in a preschool?
Yes, I have directed two preschool programs, one that served as full-day care and the other, where I currently work, that serves as enrichment three mornings a week, with parents required to be on the school grounds, even if not in the classroom, while children are in attendance.
Do your kids attend preschool?
Two of my three children lived in a very rural area during their preschool years, and there was no preschool program available. The oldest was the only one to attend preschool, while I lived in Sacramento.
What type of preschool do YOU believe is best for children?
As I stated above, I believe in a well-constructed environment that allows children to make choices as to type and timing of activity. While the teachers may be the ones bringing out materials each day, or deciding when to go outside as a group, I like to see children have the time and place to work in uninterrupted fashion on what interests them at the moment.
Any other thoughts on education for our under 5 population?
I believe our under 5 population needs and deserves the public support given to our elementary and secondary school systems. Only then will they have the quality and dedication of their teachers assured to them. Presently, there is high teacher turnover, and teachers constantly leaving and entering the field because of the low wages and difficulty assuring a livelihood. The quality varies greatly and many children do not have access to a high-quality preschool experience. Some of these children never get the chance to play in a developmentally supportive environment.
I personally prefer a child-directed preschool environment, and find the Reggio-Emilia method very appealing. I have had some experience with High/Scope, which is used in Headstart, and appreciated how much the environment can direct the child's learning, while the child is busy doing what she or he wants to do.
Did you go to preschool as a child?
No, I did not. There were far less opportunities back in the dark ages of the 1950s! My socialization and school readiness came from being in a big family (three siblings), growing up in a neighborhood of young families, which meant I had a lot of childhood playmates nearby, and having a creative mother who played piano for us and gave us lots of play time.
Have you worked in a preschool?
Yes, I have directed two preschool programs, one that served as full-day care and the other, where I currently work, that serves as enrichment three mornings a week, with parents required to be on the school grounds, even if not in the classroom, while children are in attendance.
Do your kids attend preschool?
Two of my three children lived in a very rural area during their preschool years, and there was no preschool program available. The oldest was the only one to attend preschool, while I lived in Sacramento.
What type of preschool do YOU believe is best for children?
As I stated above, I believe in a well-constructed environment that allows children to make choices as to type and timing of activity. While the teachers may be the ones bringing out materials each day, or deciding when to go outside as a group, I like to see children have the time and place to work in uninterrupted fashion on what interests them at the moment.
Any other thoughts on education for our under 5 population?
I believe our under 5 population needs and deserves the public support given to our elementary and secondary school systems. Only then will they have the quality and dedication of their teachers assured to them. Presently, there is high teacher turnover, and teachers constantly leaving and entering the field because of the low wages and difficulty assuring a livelihood. The quality varies greatly and many children do not have access to a high-quality preschool experience. Some of these children never get the chance to play in a developmentally supportive environment.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
10 Top Family Stressors
Our textbook, Child, Family, School, Community:Socialization and Support (Berns) lists ten significant family stressors and my list will review that one, with my view on how these family stressors affect children in the home.
1. Economics - We are obviously seeing lots of economic strain this year. Families are losing their homes, either through being unable to make the payments if they were buying, or through losing a rental because the owner cannot pay as a result of the current mortgage crisis. Finding a new place to live is always a stressful task; moving and adjusting to new surroundings can be confusing and upsetting to children.
The children are too young to understand the resultant changes in standard of living if a parent loses a job, but still are aware of the general unhappiness that has suddenly taken hold of their parent (s). Finances are often the number one item that couples (married or not, straight or gay) argue about, since how we view money is rooted in how we were raised to view it, and partners may not have the same attitudes about spending, saving, or dealing with economic crises. The children hear the fighting and it is often very frightening to them to have the people they love and depend upon disagreeing.
2. Children's Behavior - Parental expectations about children's behavior are also most often rooted in how they themselves were raised. Those of us lucky enough to gain a human development background may come into conflict with those who do not. Parents and other extended family members may hold differing views about how children should act in situations, confusing the younger child with inconsistent expectations. Children may develop fear and shame around pleasing someone and meeting their behavioral expectations or they may rebel against developmentally unrealistic expectations, acting out and thereby spiraling the situation into even more tension. Parents may develop embarassment and hostility towards school officials who seem to single out their child as having behavior problems and find it stressful to communicate with schools in any way.
3. Insufficient Couple Time - If couples don't have ample time to communicate, they are more likely to be contradicting each other, offering the children differing expectations, or providing inattentive parenting. Couples who are happy are more resilient in dealing with the stresses of family life, and will offer a more secure home to the children they raise.
4. Lack of Shared Responsibility in the Family - Families that allow one person to shoulder most of the responsibilities do not offer healthy role modeling for adult life to the children in them. Sharing the tasks and the pleasures of family life teaches the children to think beyond themselves, to look for ways to be productive, and to nurture others as well as look after getting their own needs met. Those children will be more productive adults and more likely the kinds of people others want to work with, live with, marry, etc. It is a mistake to think that doing everything for your child is a sign of love for them; in reality, you would be raising an emotionally crippled person who cannot fend for themselves.
5. Communication with Children - Parents are the child's first role models when it comes to learning communication skills. Children who aren't talked to or read to have greater difficulty learning literacy skills, which are critical for school success. Everyday communication helps a child to feel a part of the greater world.
Beyond simple words, children also need to learn the social communication skills that will allow them the chance to succeed in their culture, and the parents have a responsibility to teach these skills so that their children have a greater chance of leading happy, productive lives. Children raised in homes where communication is poor or lacking entirely will suffer confusion, poor social development and essentially grow up socially handicapped.
6. Insufficient "me" time - While this concept is relatively new, stress studies have shown that allowing stresses to build up undermines a person's health, productivity and even shortens lifespan. Spending even small amounts of time alone, pursuing a personal interest, exercising, and regrouping in other personal ways, deflects stress, lowers blood pressure, promotes greater well-being and allows the person to approach the tasks at hand with a fresh outlook. When a parent is frazzled all of the time, they cannot give their best efforts to the job of childrearing. The harm to the children is in potential neglect, emotional or physical abuse, and in allowing the child to grow up without the fuller nurturing possible from a fully engaged parent.
7. Guilt for not accomplishing more - Parents who are consumed with guilt, either for not earning more, not providing certain things for their children, or not being a more loving or 'better' parent, are missing the present moment. Each day is a new opportunity to engage in play with the child, to read to the child, to show your love. By focusing on the past and the future too much, parents allow the child to grow up without their attention on the child as she or he is right now. Play is available almost any time, and for free, and builds long-lasting and loving memories.
8. Spousal Relationship - When families have strained or unhappy relationships between the spousal partners, all participants are aware of this, no matter how hard the two in conflict try to conceal it from the others. The steady, underlying tension undermines the child's sense of security, especially those too young to have a developmental capacity to understand what it is they are feeling, and where it is coming from. While a teenager may be able to understand that the adults are the ones disagreeing, it is still hard for them not to feel partly responsible. While studies have shown the traumas that children of divorce go through, it is also important to understand that living in a war zone between the partners is equally damaging, and perhaps more so. Our text pointed out that parents who divorce and go on to establish new, harmonious relationships with other partners are then modeling healthy relationships rather than unhealthy ones.
9. Insufficient Family Play Time - Play allows us to release endorphins and feel good! If time isn't made for play, we can begin to feel like we are merely hamsters running on wheels.... and certainly parents who aren't having fun can't smile, laugh and convey good feelings to their children. Play is also a strong factor in continued family bonding.
Here, I will venture into personal experience, and state that years and years of sledding, camping, swimming at the river in summer, family games indoors in winter, and lots of other laugh-producing experiences allowed my adult children to look back fondly on their childhoods and remember lots of fun times even though we lived below the poverty line. They have all remained close to each other and to me.... and still believe in play and having fun together.
10. Overscheduled Family Calendar - When parents allow their lives (and that of their child's) to become overscheduled, they do not allow for flexibility, or what teachers describe as 'the teachable moment'. Living with less hurry and less slavery to a schedule allows people to take the time to talk about a problem or to visit with a friend or relative. If you are always in a hurry, your children will grow up feeling like their worry or problem is too small for your attention, or that now is a bad time and maybe they should wait until later, which may never come. Making time for people rather than things is what builds strong family ties.
1. Economics - We are obviously seeing lots of economic strain this year. Families are losing their homes, either through being unable to make the payments if they were buying, or through losing a rental because the owner cannot pay as a result of the current mortgage crisis. Finding a new place to live is always a stressful task; moving and adjusting to new surroundings can be confusing and upsetting to children.
The children are too young to understand the resultant changes in standard of living if a parent loses a job, but still are aware of the general unhappiness that has suddenly taken hold of their parent (s). Finances are often the number one item that couples (married or not, straight or gay) argue about, since how we view money is rooted in how we were raised to view it, and partners may not have the same attitudes about spending, saving, or dealing with economic crises. The children hear the fighting and it is often very frightening to them to have the people they love and depend upon disagreeing.
2. Children's Behavior - Parental expectations about children's behavior are also most often rooted in how they themselves were raised. Those of us lucky enough to gain a human development background may come into conflict with those who do not. Parents and other extended family members may hold differing views about how children should act in situations, confusing the younger child with inconsistent expectations. Children may develop fear and shame around pleasing someone and meeting their behavioral expectations or they may rebel against developmentally unrealistic expectations, acting out and thereby spiraling the situation into even more tension. Parents may develop embarassment and hostility towards school officials who seem to single out their child as having behavior problems and find it stressful to communicate with schools in any way.
3. Insufficient Couple Time - If couples don't have ample time to communicate, they are more likely to be contradicting each other, offering the children differing expectations, or providing inattentive parenting. Couples who are happy are more resilient in dealing with the stresses of family life, and will offer a more secure home to the children they raise.
4. Lack of Shared Responsibility in the Family - Families that allow one person to shoulder most of the responsibilities do not offer healthy role modeling for adult life to the children in them. Sharing the tasks and the pleasures of family life teaches the children to think beyond themselves, to look for ways to be productive, and to nurture others as well as look after getting their own needs met. Those children will be more productive adults and more likely the kinds of people others want to work with, live with, marry, etc. It is a mistake to think that doing everything for your child is a sign of love for them; in reality, you would be raising an emotionally crippled person who cannot fend for themselves.
5. Communication with Children - Parents are the child's first role models when it comes to learning communication skills. Children who aren't talked to or read to have greater difficulty learning literacy skills, which are critical for school success. Everyday communication helps a child to feel a part of the greater world.
Beyond simple words, children also need to learn the social communication skills that will allow them the chance to succeed in their culture, and the parents have a responsibility to teach these skills so that their children have a greater chance of leading happy, productive lives. Children raised in homes where communication is poor or lacking entirely will suffer confusion, poor social development and essentially grow up socially handicapped.
6. Insufficient "me" time - While this concept is relatively new, stress studies have shown that allowing stresses to build up undermines a person's health, productivity and even shortens lifespan. Spending even small amounts of time alone, pursuing a personal interest, exercising, and regrouping in other personal ways, deflects stress, lowers blood pressure, promotes greater well-being and allows the person to approach the tasks at hand with a fresh outlook. When a parent is frazzled all of the time, they cannot give their best efforts to the job of childrearing. The harm to the children is in potential neglect, emotional or physical abuse, and in allowing the child to grow up without the fuller nurturing possible from a fully engaged parent.
7. Guilt for not accomplishing more - Parents who are consumed with guilt, either for not earning more, not providing certain things for their children, or not being a more loving or 'better' parent, are missing the present moment. Each day is a new opportunity to engage in play with the child, to read to the child, to show your love. By focusing on the past and the future too much, parents allow the child to grow up without their attention on the child as she or he is right now. Play is available almost any time, and for free, and builds long-lasting and loving memories.
8. Spousal Relationship - When families have strained or unhappy relationships between the spousal partners, all participants are aware of this, no matter how hard the two in conflict try to conceal it from the others. The steady, underlying tension undermines the child's sense of security, especially those too young to have a developmental capacity to understand what it is they are feeling, and where it is coming from. While a teenager may be able to understand that the adults are the ones disagreeing, it is still hard for them not to feel partly responsible. While studies have shown the traumas that children of divorce go through, it is also important to understand that living in a war zone between the partners is equally damaging, and perhaps more so. Our text pointed out that parents who divorce and go on to establish new, harmonious relationships with other partners are then modeling healthy relationships rather than unhealthy ones.
9. Insufficient Family Play Time - Play allows us to release endorphins and feel good! If time isn't made for play, we can begin to feel like we are merely hamsters running on wheels.... and certainly parents who aren't having fun can't smile, laugh and convey good feelings to their children. Play is also a strong factor in continued family bonding.
Here, I will venture into personal experience, and state that years and years of sledding, camping, swimming at the river in summer, family games indoors in winter, and lots of other laugh-producing experiences allowed my adult children to look back fondly on their childhoods and remember lots of fun times even though we lived below the poverty line. They have all remained close to each other and to me.... and still believe in play and having fun together.
10. Overscheduled Family Calendar - When parents allow their lives (and that of their child's) to become overscheduled, they do not allow for flexibility, or what teachers describe as 'the teachable moment'. Living with less hurry and less slavery to a schedule allows people to take the time to talk about a problem or to visit with a friend or relative. If you are always in a hurry, your children will grow up feeling like their worry or problem is too small for your attention, or that now is a bad time and maybe they should wait until later, which may never come. Making time for people rather than things is what builds strong family ties.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
A Child of the 60s
I was born in 1954, but since I didn't start school until the 59-60 school year, my prime cultural influences, both inside and outside of my birth family came from the decade of the 1960s..... ranging from memories of my parents' fears over the Cuban missile crisis, the galvanizing sadness following President Kennedy's assassination, and the cultural changes that began trickling out of San Francisco north to my part of California following the Summer of Love.
Being at war is one of the similarities between that decade and this; we have now been actively at war even longer, and a new generation of young people are seeing the effects of themselves, their partners and friends, and the choices they have had to either make or put on hold. I am thankful for each of them that they do not have to face the 'draft'. This is not a political forum, so I won't delve too deeply into how the Vietnam war affected those around me, but suffice it to say that my personal experiences with the after effects in the 1970s have given me a large dose of compassion for those involved in the Iraq war.
Another similarity is the sense of hope and enthusiasm this election year. Maybe it is the opportunity for change after eight years with the same team, but it reminds me a lot of how people reacted to the 1968 primary election. Thankfully, we have not had to face the trauma as a country that Robert Kennedy's assassination in the midst of the California campaign created. The hope from that period inspired many in a generation just entering high school and college to study for and work in careers of social service and I am truly hoping for the same outcome, as so many of those people are now readying to retire and we need a new crop of idealists as a nation to replace the aging ones!
What is different? Technology is the most obvious difference! I can now research so many things I want to know about so quickly. When I was growing up, the library was within easy walking distance, and I made the trip at least a few times a week, but now a much larger world is open to me through the Internet (I still check out books from the library). I have been able to further my education online, and also text message my adult children to stay in touch.
The societal trend that I see having the most negative impact on child development today is the fallout of the No Child Left Behind Act. This act had the good intention of wanting all children, no matter where they lived in the country, to get a good education. Around the time it was first proposed, about a decade ago, there were gross disparities in school districts, based on funds from property taxes.... now, there is a standard allotment to each school per child attending. The idea was to make sure each school had the resources it needed. However, as standardized testing became the way to measure student success, and schools began to be 'punished' for low test scores in their student body populations, more and more schools began to eliminate elective offerings, add 'study halls', 'opportunity class', and other mechanisms to increase the likelihood of higher test scores, and to concentrate on teaching English and Math at earlier levels, with little regard to the developmental levels of the children.
Now, we have a kindergarten curriculum that insists on mastery of what was covered in first grade two decades ago, and strong fears in parents and teachers alike that if children aren't fed more instruction, earlier, they will not be able to 'compete' in the educational world. This outlook compares learning to sports achievement, without regard for the stages of child development and individual variations. Children haven't suddenly changed; they aren't ready for these steps any sooner than they were a decade or two, but the expectations are higher and the resultant stress to childhood is a very dangerous trend. I would hate to see childhood become an endangered stage of life!
Being at war is one of the similarities between that decade and this; we have now been actively at war even longer, and a new generation of young people are seeing the effects of themselves, their partners and friends, and the choices they have had to either make or put on hold. I am thankful for each of them that they do not have to face the 'draft'. This is not a political forum, so I won't delve too deeply into how the Vietnam war affected those around me, but suffice it to say that my personal experiences with the after effects in the 1970s have given me a large dose of compassion for those involved in the Iraq war.
Another similarity is the sense of hope and enthusiasm this election year. Maybe it is the opportunity for change after eight years with the same team, but it reminds me a lot of how people reacted to the 1968 primary election. Thankfully, we have not had to face the trauma as a country that Robert Kennedy's assassination in the midst of the California campaign created. The hope from that period inspired many in a generation just entering high school and college to study for and work in careers of social service and I am truly hoping for the same outcome, as so many of those people are now readying to retire and we need a new crop of idealists as a nation to replace the aging ones!
What is different? Technology is the most obvious difference! I can now research so many things I want to know about so quickly. When I was growing up, the library was within easy walking distance, and I made the trip at least a few times a week, but now a much larger world is open to me through the Internet (I still check out books from the library). I have been able to further my education online, and also text message my adult children to stay in touch.
The societal trend that I see having the most negative impact on child development today is the fallout of the No Child Left Behind Act. This act had the good intention of wanting all children, no matter where they lived in the country, to get a good education. Around the time it was first proposed, about a decade ago, there were gross disparities in school districts, based on funds from property taxes.... now, there is a standard allotment to each school per child attending. The idea was to make sure each school had the resources it needed. However, as standardized testing became the way to measure student success, and schools began to be 'punished' for low test scores in their student body populations, more and more schools began to eliminate elective offerings, add 'study halls', 'opportunity class', and other mechanisms to increase the likelihood of higher test scores, and to concentrate on teaching English and Math at earlier levels, with little regard to the developmental levels of the children.
Now, we have a kindergarten curriculum that insists on mastery of what was covered in first grade two decades ago, and strong fears in parents and teachers alike that if children aren't fed more instruction, earlier, they will not be able to 'compete' in the educational world. This outlook compares learning to sports achievement, without regard for the stages of child development and individual variations. Children haven't suddenly changed; they aren't ready for these steps any sooner than they were a decade or two, but the expectations are higher and the resultant stress to childhood is a very dangerous trend. I would hate to see childhood become an endangered stage of life!
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Let Me Introduce Myself
First, I have to confess that I have been an avid blogger for three years, so it's kind of cheating to start another for the class.... however, I will be have fun theming this one to the early childhood topics of Child, Family and Community.
I have lived for 22 years in a very rural environment, though I was able to complete my BA and get my MA in Humanities through a combination of distance learning that involved traveling to the Bay Area once a month and the rest of the time working on my own.
You are welcome to check out my other blogs, if any of you have the time!
This is the only class I am taking this semester, though I am learning a new job at the same time. I am lucky to be directing a lovely program called 1,2,3 Grow, a parent participation early childhood and school readiness program located at Camptonville Elementary School, across the road from my house. I had been an Early Headstart Site Supervisor for a year and a half until the agency's budget was cut in half this spring and the program was closed at the end of June. I can now walk to work! Our program has a large school garden, nurtured by parent volunteers, and currently providing tomatoes for school lunches, and our snacks!
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